The Forgotten Skill: Teaching Children to Ask Better Questions

In today’s fast moving world, it is easy to focus primarily on the answers our children provide whether at school, at home or during after school tutoring. However, there is something equally important that often goes unnoticed: the questions they ask.

At NumberWorks’nWords we witness daily how empowering it is when children are encouraged to ask questions in their one to one lessons. In fact, we have discovered that the quality of a child’s questions can reveal more about their learning journey than their answers do. Guiding children to ask better questions helps ignite their curiosity, boost their confidence and nurture them into independent, motivated learners.

Why Questions Matter More Than You Think

As adults, we often fall into the habit of answering our children’s questions quickly so we can get on with our day. Yet every question a child asks offers insight into how they are thinking, what they are curious about, or what they may not fully understand.

Learning to ask better questions is a skill that helps children become more engaged and thoughtful. When children ask questions such as “Why does that happen?” or “What would happen if...?”, they are thinking critically and trying to make sense of the world around them.

For instance, a child working on a maths problem might simply say, “I don’t understand.” While that is a starting point, imagine if they instead asked, “Is there another way to solve this?” or “What’s the first step I should take here?” Suddenly, they are taking greater ownership of their learning.

Encouraging Curiosity at Home

One of the most effective ways parents can support their children in asking better questions is by simply creating space for curiosity. Children are naturally inquisitive, but they need to feel safe and encouraged to express their curiosity without fear of being wrong or annoying.

Try setting aside regular moments during the day when questions are welcomed. For example, at dinner, ask your child what they wondered about that day. You might say, “What’s something interesting you heard today that made you think?” or “Did anything surprise you at school?” These open-ended prompts encourage children to practise asking questions and exploring ideas.

Even watching a film together can become a chance to learn. Ask, “What do you think will happen next?” or “Why do you think that character did that?” These simple, everyday conversations help build a strong foundation for better questioning skills.

Creating a Question-Friendly Environment

Children learn by example, so how we respond to their questions is very important. When a child asks something that seems obvious or inconvenient at the time, it can be tempting to dismiss it. However, doing this too often can make them feel that their questions are not valued.

Instead, try to respond with genuine interest, even if you don’t know the answer. You might say, “That’s a great question. I’m not sure, but let’s find out together.” This shows that asking questions is less about having all the answers and more about being curious and eager to learn.

At NumberWorks’nWords, we encourage open discussions between students and tutors because we understand that great learning often begins with a great question. When children feel their thoughts and questions are respected, they become more confident and engaged in their learning.

When Children Struggle with Questions

Some children hesitate to ask questions because they are afraid of getting something wrong or appearing silly. If your child seems unsure, it’s important to create an atmosphere where making mistakes is a normal part of learning.

You can say things like, “All good questions help us learn, even if we do not know the answer right away,” or “It’s brave to ask something when you are not sure.” Reassurance goes a long way in helping children build the confidence to keep trying.

A Real-Life Example: Emma and Her Maths Questions

Emma, a Year 6 student at NumberWorks’nWords, used to freeze when faced with a difficult maths problem. Rather than asking for help, she would become quiet or make a guess. Her tutor noticed this and gently encouraged her to ask more specific questions. Over time, Emma began to say things like, “Can you explain how to break this problem down?” or “Why do we carry the one here?”

These questions helped her gain a clearer understanding and gave her the tools to solve problems independently later on. Her confidence grew, and she started to enjoy her lessons more.

Building Skills Beyond the Classroom

Learning to ask better questions does not just help with schoolwork. It also prepares children for life beyond the classroom. Whether they are trying to understand a friend’s feelings, solve a problem in a game, or make a decision about how to spend their pocket money, the ability to ask thoughtful questions helps them make better choices and connect more deeply with the world around them. For example, a child might ask, “Why is my friend upset?” or “What can I do differently next time?” These kinds of questions help build empathy, problem solving skills, and emotional intelligence, qualities that are just as important as academic success.

Conclusion

As parents, it can be tempting to focus on helping our children find the right answers, especially when they are struggling. But sometimes, the best thing we can do is step back and guide them toward asking better questions.

By doing this, we are not just helping them learn facts or pass tests. We are helping them think more deeply, become more confident, and discover how to learn for themselves. Whether it is at home or in a one on one lesson at NumberWorks’nWords, every great question brings them one step closer to becoming curious, capable learners.

Like any skill, learning to ask better questions takes time and practice. The more children are encouraged to be curious and reflect on their thinking, the more naturally it will come. If you are looking to help provide your child with some extra support, book a free, no obligation learning assessment to get the ball rolling. Our fantastic team of expert tutors are here to help your child grow in confidence and thrive in their learning journey.